Striking the balance.

I adore my team! They are all great individuals and work-wise they outperform most teams. But although I adore them and we speak about family and private life they are not my friends.

I can easily see why we would be great pals had our paths crossed in another way, but as it is now a real friendship is not an option. I am sure in small companies and with exceptionally strong friendships this might actually work but those are the exceptions….

As a leader you need to keep a certain distance, it should be clear when I ask something of you and you deliver it should be because I ask you as a leader not as a friend. You cannot add friendship to the mix. Anybody can understand that sometimes a leader there are thing you cannot share, but as a friend I really should share. Also it is a lot easier to objectively look at a performance when it is not a good friend. So if I have to comment your work in a critical way you know it is just work  and I am not criticizing you as a person if you are friend the balance is really difficult. Naturally you should have friendly interaction with your team and not keep private life completely out of you work life; we all work much better if we can share some of our private life and it is nice to know about the people you work with.

Likewise, my team needs to be able to complain to each other about me, the decisions I take that they feel are wrong (they might be right – or I am not able to disclose the entire picture). So if I see my team huddled in a room without me – or hanging back after a meeting I know they need to discuss things without me – and that is fine.

When it comes to work parties I guess you can drink the most, dance the most and be the last one to close the party – and whilst you are a real party-animal and everybody loves that you should save that for private functions; it is wiser to enjoy yourself and leave a bit earlier. Not only do you avoid looking foolish the next day but you have also spared somebody else from looking foolish (a drunken team-member passing out or start telling everybody how the world really works).

Recently I discussed this with a friend who said “I normally hang out with my team all the time” and when I resorted ” you need to give them time and space to moan about you .” he laughed but gave it a try. Fair play he came back and told me that not only could he see that the team needed it – but most important he had started to interact much more with his peers and that gave him an insight to the other departments he never had before.

When it comes to social media it is important to keep that distance as well – we have all heard the tales of people being fired for calling in sick and then post party-photos on Facebook or posting horrible comments about their colleagues. But as a leader it works the same way – I do not need my team to see pictures of me attending a private party or comments my friends might make about me. So I keep my Facebook profile very private but everyone can LinkedIn with me – that is for professional use. And of course if you want to follow me on Twitter you are most welcome J

Nature or Nurture - what makes a leader?

On LinkedIn the question “what makes a great leader?” was asked … and lots of good and quite some bad answers was provided.

But what indeed makes a good leader? And if you are a good leader in one team/company does it mean that you are a good leader in another team/company ? Is it you or your surroundings … get us back to the age old “nurture or nature”.  My view is that of course it is you who are a great leader but you need to be suited to the culture in the team/company. Of course you can try to swing the culture in the team or even in an entire company – but the bigger the harder it will be. I would compare it to turning and stopping a huge ocean liner – it can be done, but you need to know what to do and it takes a looong time.

As a leader you must stay true to yourself and your values – it is OK to tone some things down and others up – but you lose credibility if you try to pretend liking an idea you hate… be honest about it without dishing the idea.

You need to be consistent and fair in the way you treat your team otherwise nobody will trust you. And if you do not have the teams trust – you have nothing that will even resemble a team.

You need to dig in and do some work as well and your team needs to have different types (some of us do not like the nitty-gritty – but take on some other tasks and make sure you have somebody who likes to do just that – otherwise it will be forgotten and the outcome will probably be less)

Most important you need to maybe not lead the way – but be able to show the team which way they should aim for – in such a way that the team is eager to move ahead.

Positive attitude.

Is it my job as a leader to ensure that my team is happy? No, it is my job to ensure we provide them with the tools they need, a nice work environment and of course – not least a fair salary. But beside that I cannot guarantee the happiness of my team.

Goes without saying that I like it much better when they are happy, but it cannot be my duty to make them happy. What I see and hear people complaining about their job is the salary (granted we would all like to earn more money), but if you are rewarded fairly then extra dosh in the  bank is not going to make you happier or more motivated – except maybe for a short period of time. Or the work hours – but in most businesses there are some standard work hours where we need to be available.

What most of us forget is that unless you life is really in the sh@t you can choose to be happy, you have a choice, Is your glass half empty or half full? That goes for work as well. If you arrive to the office everyday dreading the day ahead of you, you are in the wrong job. If you dread it because you hate the work you do it is time to move on. If the tools are inadequate and your salary not fair for the job you do – it is time to move on (as a company you need to care about your employees enough to ensure this is OK – if not you are not worth working for).

A lot can be done by each individual employee. I am sure we all know those people who “spread gold dust” in the office the smiling happy ones! Yet so many of us seem to focus on the negative. If I tell you my flight was delayed, I am sure you have a story where not only was your flight delayed – you luggage was delayed even longer! I will come back with the time my luggage was lost and I never saw it again.  If I tell you about a colleague who did me wrong – you probably have a story of how he/she did you wrong – just worse! What we would probably not talk about is all the times that person has done right by us (or all the flights that was on time and we got our luggage).

In  the past I have heard a lot of complaint about the atmosphere in the office – what always gets me is that collectively we make up the atmosphere we work in so if so many of us are unhappy – we have it in our power to turn it around.

 In our team we started a project “Positive thinking”. We took a lot of inspiration from “Happy hour is 9 -5” by Alexander Kjerulf on www.positivesharing.com. We made some small adjustments and rules.

·         Make sure you build relationships with your colleagues who you do not see very often, call them instead of emailing all the time (so many things can be misunderstood via email). If you have the chance drink a cup of coffee or a beer with them (again it is much easier to be positive towards somebody you have had an informal talk with).

·         When you hear somebody complain about a colleague, customer ect. Listen and acknowledge (we all need to vent once in a while) but also remind them of all the good things this colleague, customer ect . has done. So give them a break.

·         If you feel like writing an angry email, write it – keep it for 24 hours read it again and see if there is still the need to send it.

·         Lead by example!!!   

And although I cannot see a big difference in our employee satisfaction surveys everybody agrees that the office is a much nicer place to be working in and also to visit. I see people much happier to help out and many more smiles as I walk through (but maybe they are just laughing at me).